Not the Fortunate Ones [EN]

Why did she want him to stay with her again? Why could she not just banish him from her heart; see him as little more than her loyal deputy. It wasn’t the first war Crystalstar’s heart had waged against her good judgement, but it was by far the most intense. She knew that she shouldn’t pursue Carrioncough, because it would give credence to the believe that she had chosen him out of personal reasons. Nonetheless, there were few things she longed more for than his touch, the warmth of his pelt against hers, his shrill voice telling her she was safe, that she was beautiful.
Whatever her reasoning was, he was here, ready to stay with her. It had been a turbulent evening, and the news of Shrimpnose’s prophecy had upset her worries all over again. Why did Starclan intend on testing them again so soon? Crystalstar knew that she could use some company, even if it was just for one night.
”Thank you for staying, Carrion,” she sighed quietly, as she kneaded the soft earth of her den’s floor with her claws. ”Would you like to just.. talk for a little bit?” the dark-grey she-cat asked, as her ears flicked a little. She knew she should rest, should sleep even, but she just wasn’t tired in the slightest.

[Carrion]

He sat against her again, and though Crystalstar felt a flaring irritation at Carrioncough's inconsistency, she also leaned into his touch, which she had longed for for so long. However, when she expected him to reply to her, he stayed quiet, which was much more damning evidence that something was amiss than if he had just begun smalltalking. The leader frowned, and turned around, just in time to see him rubbing at his face, at what might have been a tear. "Carrioncough.. What's wrong?" She asked him, the irritation being replaced by genuine concern. Of course, the most horrible visions immediately sprang to mind: he was sick, he was betraying her, he would leave her like so many others had, he would die; becoming her love, taken from her and this world too early. Crystalstar let her tail wrap around his slim body, and really pushed against him. "Come on, don't be like this. You know you can talk to me," she said, in a playfully strict way.

The way he avoided her gaze might have been enough for Crystalstar to tell that he had done something wrong, but the grey she-cat had not had the slightest inkling of what that something was. When she eventually heard him speak, her frown deepened, and she nudged his chin with her front paw, pushing his head up so she could have a better look. The words took some time for her to process, and only after a few moments dit Crystalstar actually realize what Carrioncough was telling her. He had impregnated someone, and from the guilt in his shrill voice, it was not someone from Riverclan. "You damned, selfish bastard." She murmured through her teeth, though she did not relent on their embrace. "Does she know that you are the father? Do your children? Have they been born yet? What clan are they in? Don't you tell me it's Shadowclan, not you too." The barrage of questions, the interrogating, helped some. It helped Crystalstar suppress the feelings of immense heartbreak and betrayal, knowing that once again, Carrioncough would slip away from her.

He spoke with a sort of sadness, which only infuriated her further. How dare he be sad about this? He had no right, no right at all to be sad, and to pour that sadness over her, looking for pity. He even locked eyes with her, his gaze hopeless and heart-broken. She didn't relent in the slightest, however, just peered back at him with her iron stare. She learned that the mother came from Windclan, knew that he was the father, but that the kits would never know. That was the best way this could have gone, she supposed, the best collection of circumstances, if they had to have this situation. "You're a traitor, you know that, don't you?" She hissed at him, the effect strange, as she was still holding him in her embrace. "Not just to your clan, but to me. You knew what you mean to me, you have always known. And you run off to some.. some outclan bitch." And then, with a darker expression in her face: "What is her name, Carrioncough?"